All things I love....I've done them all this year.
Creative writing, journaling, poetry, even list making and organizing.
Warm bubble baths, walking, running, hiking, dancing, playing tennis, swimming, biking, rock climbing.
I know that I've really been moving when my hamstrings are sore from ballet, my butt's been kicked in Taekwondo, and I've got brush burned elbows and knees from sliding belly down into second base last Friday night, just before a regal curtsy inspired by the Royal Wedding earlier that day. I was safe!!
I love going to church, watching my little garden, my Christmas Cactus, my blackberry vine.
Writing letters, designing websites, creating custom paint colors--green walls that make an old bedroom new.
Singing, praying, meditating, hugs.
My senses are fully engaged when I watch my favorite old movies. I am still uplifted though I know every line.
If I can attend the theater, the symphony, or hear live music, I will.
Or just look through old photo albums, alone or with a loved one or even get out in nature.
Where there is a park or garden, just let me walk through it and devour the divine bouquet.
I can look up at the night sky and it's only right to smile back at it.
The sunrise or sunset is artistry, but even better when framed by the horizon of the ocean's waves.
In the last year, I've been able to listen to brooks, sounds near the lake, and the river's flow.
I've baked fresh bread, smelled the honeysuckle of home, and the ligustrum of the Emerald Coast.
I've cultivated a deep sense of calmness with the Lord's help in many troubled waters.
I've felt the wind on my face and really relished the gift.
I've tumbled through the snow and rested my bones on a grassy hill with a good book.
I've been cold from the sting of raindrops, drenched from splashing water tingling my skin.
I've witnessed a double rainbow emerge from the clouds and some places I've just "been".
Under my tree, one I planted years ago.
At the beach.
On a rock.
In nature.
By a stream or lake.
On a bench, my favorite hangout at Exit 571-A.
I missed being underneath a waterfall, but soaked in a hot tub.
I found wild walnuts and fresh berries on the top of a high mountain.
I ate fair food with old friends that I hadn't seen in many years and my fingers were sticky, but I didn't care.
I had long, deep talks on the phone in a setting with a breathtaking view under the stars and at sunrise and sunset while sitting quietly, calmly. This was such a sweet gift from the Lord in my life.
I've returned to right field, my left hand tucked inside the 5th grade baseball glove that still calls me by my maiden name. My Father broke it in with oil and taught me how to catch. Like an old friend, baseball brought me back to the days when I knew you. It was the last day we spoke. Like a young girl I laughed, but I have now borne the grief of a woman.
Were it not for all these things that I love, the passage of time might have robbed me of such joy. But in doing these things, pulling up out of the green water on skis and seeing the Tuscan rooftops, I remember the good times we had; but mostly, I have a sense that there is One who attends my bedside both day and night never leaving me alone. This very One has ordained all of my days and knows me to my innermost being. I have returned to the hope that by faith I will overcome this loss and life is flowing through my veins because I've just started to dream again.
I can't see what you see, Lord, but I'm ready to try. Ready to learn to live a new life....one that You have prepared. This is a step in the right direction, better than where I was before. My trust has returned, though I never stopped praising you. I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength.
Last year's blog, May 1, 2010.
